


You make me feel so loved

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cute, First Date, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus is there to ease his mind, episode 2x06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 01:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10561482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: After their date, Magnus and Alec take a little walk around the town. With Alec walking in silence, Magnus worries and after a while decides to break the silence.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In the show, they had the talk when they reached Magnus' apartment. In my version, they work things out sooner :P
> 
> I hope you're gonna enjoy it ^-^
> 
> If there are mistakes, I apologise. I'm sick at the moment and I didn't feel like re-reading this again ^^;

Magnus and Alec were currently taking a walk around the town, slowly returning back to Magnus' place. Their first date was coming to an end and even though it was something that Alec was looking forward to, he didn't know if he liked how things ended. After Magnus told him how many relationships he had been in, things became awkward between them. And it wasn't the warlock's fault at all, Alec was very well aware of that. Magnus was right what he said; he shouldn't focus too hard on the past and Magnus' past love life; all that mattered was the present. And while the Shadowhunter didn't judge Magnus for having so many past lovers, he still felt uneasy. Uneasy as in feeling that he maybe wasn't good enough. There was Magnus, this magical and beautiful creature. Everything about him was perfect. And he was just Alec; a boring Shadowhunter. He knew that he should've had more faith in himself, but he couldn't help but to feel self-conscious.

Magnus, who was walking next to Alec in silence, didn't know how to understand Alec's sudden silence and for the entire walk, Alec barely said a word. He knew that he was a lot to get used to and a lot to take in, but he kind of thought Alec would know that by now. Maybe he shouldn't had told him the truth about his past love life. It was only their first date and he could see that his answer shocked the younger one, probably making him regret going on the date all together. Magnus then quickly shook his head and glanced at Alec, whose jaw was clenched as there was a frown between his eyebrows. Alec appeared to be thinking hard, so Magnus allowed him to have his peace and quiet, even though he would've love to chat for a little bit. But he knew, he shouldn't push it too hard.

Alec saw that Magnus kept looking at him and he quickly moved his gaze away, making Magnus' heart drop to the pit of his stomach and his face twisted, making a pained expression. But Alec didn't see that, of course he didn't, he'd never let him see it. Alec was allowed to have his own opinion and for all he knew, he might had been even judging him for that. It hurt like hell, but there was nothing that he could do or say that would change the past. Alec, on the other hand, was conflicted. He didn't know what to say next, without messing something up. It wasn't a secret that he was bad with his words, so he knew that he needed to be careful with what he said.

Alec opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he quickly just closed them back up and let out a frustrated sigh. That made the warlock look at him and he gave Alec a warm smile, but the younger one could tell that something was off with it. Usually, Magnus' smiles were more... real for some reason and Alec's heart melted at every single one of them. But not at this one, instead, his heart clenched and Alec cursed under his breath. Magnus was faking it, because as soon as he turned around, he could see how Magnus' face dropped. Damn it, he was screwing things up again and Alec just shook his head.

He wished to tell Magnus that it didn't matter to him how many relationships he had before him. He didn't judge him for that, nor did he think that he didn't matter to Magnus. He never once doubted Magnus' feelings for him, they were the realest thing in his life at the moment. Yet, he felt so helpless, because he couldn't find the correct way to put his feelings into words. To someone, that might be the easiest thing, but to someone like Alec it wasn't at all.

As they continued to walk, a young couple walked past them and Alec noticed that Magnus' eyes lit up just a little when he noticed that the two were holding hands and the Shadowhunter looked down at their own ones. For a couple, they were walking too far from each other, so he quickly moved closer to Magnus, bumping into the older's shoulder with his own one and Magnus let out a small chuckle, bumping back at him, hoping that that would cheer Alec up. But, his heart twisted yet again when he saw the nervous expression on Alec's face, so his laughter died as soon as it started and he cleared his throat and pressed his lips together.

Alec was nervous, but for a completely different reason. Internally, he was preparing himself to take Magnus' hand into his own one. He wasn't really the type that was comfortable with public display of affection, but at that time it needed to be done. Sometimes actions spoke louder than words, so Alec slowly brought his hand closer to Magnus' and made a fist, feeling his heart hammering hard against his ribcage. A little bit hesitant, he gently brushed the back of his palm against Magnus' and the warlock looked at him, arching an eyebrow. The Shadowhunter let out a hitched breath and finally wrapped a finger around Magnus', before he painfully slowly took Magnus' hand into his own and linked their fingers together, giving Magnus' hand a gentle squeeze.

Startled by the sudden touch, Magnus' eyes widened because that was the last thing that he expected from Alec at a moment like that. It took him a moment or two to realise what actually happened and a warm smile cracked his serious and worried expression; a genuine one that time. He quite quickly understood why Alec looked so nervous before and now that he did, he couldn't hide his smile. Alec was mentally preparing himself to take his hand, wasn't he? Adorable and precious.

“Something on your mind, Alexander?” asked Magnus, finally ending the awful silence and the fact that his voice was calm and warm made Alec feel less nervous. “You've been awfully quiet the whole way back. Something on your mind?” the warlock asked and worry returned again when he felt Alec's hand gently shaking in his.

“I, um,” started Alec and his voice trailed off.

“You're freaked out, aren't you? To know how many people I've been with,” stated Magnus bitterly and let out a sad laughter. “Don't worry, I understand if it shocked you. I would even understand if this is too much for you to handle at the moment. I mean, you haven't been in a relationship before, so I can't imagine how big of a shock this must've been for you,” said the warlock and his heart made a strange twist. “If you need some time to think-”

“No, never, I want this… _us_ to work out,” blurted out Alec, before he could even think as he panicked. He knew it that Magnus was going to misunderstand his silence before and there was no way that their date was going to end like that. His quick and sharp response made Magnus' eyes widen, but he chuckled in the end, not saying anything. “I mean,” said Alec. “I don't mind how many people you've been in a relationship before, it doesn't matter to me at all. You've lived a life before I came in it, so of course you have a past and I don't want you to think that I judge you in any way.”

Magnus' lips curled up and formed a much bigger smile, feeling his heart warming up. He was happy to hear that, it was good for a chance that he wasn't being judged for the way he lived in the past. A lot of people liked bringing up only bad things about him, so he was glad that Alec was different. He saw only good in him and that was something new for the warlock.

“Then why are you so quiet?” asked Magnus, his voice small, but warm. “You're making such a pained expression and you're making me worried. Don't hold things from me and tell me what's going on, why are you so worried?”

“I just,” stammered Alec. “I mean you're so experienced,” mumbled the younger one and didn't like the way his body started heating up. “And I'm not. I don't want to disappoint you, because I lack experiences and-”

“You? Disappoint me? Never,” said Magnus in disbelief and he quickly hook his head, because he had no idea where Alec was coming from with that. His heart dropped again when Alec said that and he stopped walking, stepping in front of Alec and he looked at him gently and the frown between his eyebrows deepened when Alec looked down. He had never seen the other one to look so self-conscious about himself and Magnus gently cupped Alec's face with his other hand, his thumb gently caressing Alec's cheek bone. “You could never disappoint me, Alexander Lightwood. Not in any way. What made you even think that? Did I say something?”

“No,” muttered Alec and looked down at their hands, but he then looked back up when the warmth of Magnus' palm welcomed his face and he nuzzled into the touch. “I just worry,” he then said after a while and shrugged as he forced himself not to look away and he felt how his throat suddenly got really dry.

“About?”

“A lot of relationships mean a lot of experiences, right?” whispered Alec and his voice shook a little bit. Magnus gave him a little nod, but he still didn't know where in the world Alec was going with that. “And I have none,” he then added. “W-what if I'm not good enough? You know, you could do so much better. I have a lot of baggage, my family is horrible to you,” he then added. “Why waste your time on someone like me, when you could do better? There's nothing-”

“You truly believe what you just said?” asked Magnus, surprised and his heart was breaking when Alexander finally told him what was bothering him. He was comparing himself to the people Magnus dated in the past. Among them, there were a few great ones, yes, but most of them weren't. Alec was something different and to him it didn't make sense that Alec thought so little of himself. Alec slowly nodded and Magnus' breath shook, slowly sliding his finger behind Alec's neck and he stepped closer. “You, my love, are wonderful. Don't do that to yourself, don't think so little of yourself,” he then added and went quiet for a little while. “Alexander, look at me.”

Alec forced himself to look up at those wonderful dark eyes, firming fists with his hands and his body stiffened as he waited for the other one to continue. Magnus' words made him feel a little bit, but that tiny voice inside of his head just wouldn't stop. “Yes?” asked Alec, hesitating a little and he chewed on his lower lip.

“Be sure to listen to me, okay? What I'm about to tell you is very important and I mean every part of it,” said the warlock and Alec slowly nodded. Magnus then took in a deep breath and didn't look away, keeping his eyes locked with Alec's hazel ones. "You could never, ever disappoint me. And while I'm aware that your parents don't like me, I don't give a damn about that. All that I need is you and nobody else. When I say you're something special I mean it. You have your flaws, but I have them as well. You're wonderful and I wouldn't want anyone else but you," went on by saying the warlock and Alec's heart melted into the puddle of goo when Magnus said that.

"You," stammered Alec and his voice trailed off. The Shadowhunter let out a hitched breath when Magnus' fingers started playing with his hair at the back of his neck and his face flushed when he realised that they were still outside, some of curious individuals were even watching them. But Alec didn't allow that to discourage him. Magnus smiled when his boyfriend was struggling to come up with something and he just patiently waited because he knew Alec needed his time. Yes, Alec lacked so many experiences and he was the complete opposite of Magnus, but to warlock that was perfect. Opposites attract each other and speaking from life experiences, they balanced out each other.

"Yes? What's with me?" asked Magnus with a chuckle, encouraging Alec to tell him what was on his mind.

"You're wonderful," blurted out Alec and then stopped talking when Magnus snickered.

"I'm aware of that, darling," said Magnus playfully and waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm being serious," said Alec and chewed on his lower lip. "You do so much for me and never expect anything in return. When I'm being an idiot you never get angry with me. You're just... amazing, Magnus. I could never be so selfless as you are and-"

"I'm not asking you to be any of that," said Magnus softly and chuckled. "Do you know why I chose you?" he then asked and Alec nodded, his jaw clenched and he didn't dare to breathe yet as he waited for an answer. "Because you don't judge me for who I am. Just like when I told you the number of my exes, you could have judged me, but you didn't. With you I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm not," he said. "You make me feel at ease. For the first time, I feel so loved. This is why I chose you," he then added and came closer to Alec's face, gently brushing his lips against Alec's.

It wasn't even a kiss, just a simple touch of their lips, but Alec just stood there as his mind was processing everything. Magnus' words had a big impact on him and his lower lip started shaking just a little when everything started sinking in, overwhelmed looking away. He also felt the same when he was with the warlock, never in his life did he feel so happy and loved. It wasn't until he met Magnus and he was beyond happy at the moment.

"You do believe me, right?" asked Magnus after a while and Alec nodded.

"Yeah, I just, um," said Alec and chewed on his lower lip. Of course he believed him, Magnus would never lie. Especially not to him. "I'm just not used to feeling so... happy and special. It's hard to explain, but-but sometimes just knowing this makes it hard to breathe and I can't stand how much you mean to me. I-" started blabbering Alec and was quieted down with another kiss from Magnus, who couldn't keep himself away anymore.

"You better get used to it, Alexander, because I'm planning on staying and I don't want you to have a heart attack every time you think of me," teased Magnus.

In response, Alec let out a nervous laughter and Magnus allowed Alec to pull him into a tight hug. As his body was being pressed against the younger's strong body frame, Magnus just melted against it and wrapped his arms around Alec as well. They stayed like that for a moment or two, until Alec broke their hug and flushed when he saw strangers looking at them.

"Magnus," he stammered. "We should leave. There's too many people around."

It was only then that Magnus actually came aware of the others, previously too distracted by his boyfriend. For all he cared, they could continue to stare. However, it was obvious that Alec was uncomfortable, so he nodded. "Wanna come over? We can continue talking over at my place."

"With pleasure," replied Alec and took Magnus' hand into his own, this time without hesitation and he smiled as they walked towards Magnus' place.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments & opinions are well appreciated :)


End file.
